How to kick a roommate out of your NYC apartment
- It's best to try to have a face-to-face conversation to work out your differences
- If that fails and they're not on the lease, you can give them 30-days' notice to leave
If you have no choice but to ask your roommate to leave, here’s how to avoid an uncomfortable (and potentially costly) scenario.
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As a New York City renter, it’s highly likely that at some point you’ll end up sharing an apartment with one or more roommates. In a perfect world, you would all get along swimmingly; unfortunately, however, people change and relationships can sour.
The common scenarios include differing lifestyles—maybe you’re past the party-every-night phase of your life, while they’re not. Or perhaps you are having to do more than your fair share of cleaning. Worst of all, they might not be paying their share of the rent or utilities. Whatever the reason, you’ll know when it is time to cut ties, which could be a relief to both (or all) of you.
[Editor's note: An earlier version of this post was published in May 2020. We are presenting it again with updated information for August 2025.]
“Real nightmare roommates do exist,” said Matt Hutchinson, director of roommate search site SpareRoom. However, most situations are not very dramatic. “For the most part, the other person is an OK person who you just don’t happen to click with." In such cases, your best approach is to attempt to communicate and reach a mutually satisfactory resolution. After all, finding another apartment is always challenging—and costly—in NYC.
Speaking of finances: If you’re the leaseholder and your roommate moves out, you’ll be liable for the rent and will need to find another roommate to pick up the slack. And there's no guarantee the next person will be any better than the current one.
But if it has become clear that you and your roommate are not a good match, and you have no choice but to part ways, here’s how to avoid an uncomfortable and expensive scenario.
1. Have an honest conversation
"The healthiest way is to just tell the truth,” said Rory Bolger, a broker at Brown Harris Stevens. “Don’t make it personal. Just tell them that it seems clear that you’re not a healthy match and you think they should find another place.”
Dr. Lynn Saladino, a clinical psychologist who is a health and wellness consultant for Mirador Real Estate, stressed the need to make a thorough plan ahead of time for how you want to address your roommate issues.
"One of the things I see a lot with people is they wait to address things until they're considering moving out,” she said. “When that happens, their roommate might not see it coming and things are harder to repair."
If your roommate does agree to go, it may not be easy to find a replacement—and then you’re on the hook for their rent.
“If they agree to move out, the question is how easy would it be to replace that person,” Bolger said. “Hypothetically, you might need to lower the rent by a couple of hundred dollars to make it more enticing for a new person to come in.”
Saladino also cautions that you should not assume that because you’re friends with your roommate, living together will be a breeze.
"Even with a friend you know well, it's a good idea to go over a list of lifestyle necessities and deal breakers before signing a lease,” she said. “There may be more to consider than you think since you likely know your friend in a different context."
Instead of waiting to address issues until you feel resentful, Saladino suggested having regularly scheduled “check-in” meetings with your roommate(s) to see how things are going, which could correct those issues early—and “set a precedent of communicating on things rather than pushing them down.” Plus, such chats could reduce any fear you may have about bringing problems up, “and ensures you’re catching each other at a time you’re both ready to listen,” she added.
While some folks find it impossible to remain friends following such an ordeal, others do manage to find their way back to each other after the initial period of anger—but only if you don’t make the split personal.
“When you strip it down to the essentials, an apartment share is a financial transaction,” Hutchinson said. “Make it about ending the financial relationship rather than telling [them] you don’t like them.”
And remember, whether or not you and your roommate started off as friends or strangers, always treat them as you would want to be treated when broaching the topic of having them leave. “Have the courage to be firm about what you need, but treat the other person with respect, too,” he said.
2. Figure out if you can evict them
If a conversation gets you nowhere, you'll have to up the ante. However, who will have to leave the apartment depends on the circumstances. If you are not named on the lease, you’re out. If you’re both on the lease, you’re both on the hook for the rent, meaning you will need to negotiate your way out officially. In extreme cases, such as a roommate who has been charged with a violent crime, you can get an order of protection, which will order someone to move out.
But what happens if you’re on the lease and they’re not?
According to the Metropolitan Council on Housing, a tenant advocacy organization, you can’t simply kick out a roommate if they have lived in the apartment for at least 30 days or paid you rent. Instead, you’ll have to go to housing court to begin legal eviction proceedings.
If they've signed a written agreement for a 12-month lease, you can’t force them out unless they’ve breached that contract somehow—either by not paying rent or by violating the building’s rules. So if they’re a model tenant, but you’ve met someone you just like better, you’re stuck with them for the rest of the year.
In the absence of a written agreement, a roommate who is not on the lease is considered month-to-month, and you can legally ask them to leave as long as you provide 30-days' notice.
That’s why Kelly Ringston, a real estate attorney at Braverman Greenspun, typically recommends a one- to three-month trial period until you’ve determined how well you live together as roommates.
“If you have a month-to-month roommate, you can terminate their tenancy at the end of any rental cycle, upon proper notice, for whatever reason—i.e., 'you’re weird, please leave,’” she said. “If there is a written roommate agreement, the term is usually for a longer period, either six months or a year."
Ringston always recommends creating a roommate agreement given how quickly some of these situations can go south. “It’s better for all parties to have an agreement in writing,” she said, so that everyone is aware of the rules and expectations from the get-go.)
If they have violated the agreement or there is no written agreement in place, you have the right to require your roommate to leave.
“Essentially, you’re their landlord,” Ringston said. The first thing you’ll need to do is serve a notice of termination, notifying them that you’re ending their tenancy. If you can’t afford the services of a lawyer to draft one for you, you can do it yourself on the New York City Housing Court website.
An uninvolved party must serve the notice. “The cleanest way to do it is to hire a process server,” Ringston said. Pricing is typically based on the number of times they need to return to serve the notice, with a range of a few hundred to a few thousand dollars. You can find one here.
You'll need to give your roommate one complete rental cycle's notice to vacate, whether it's a week-to-week or month-to-month arrangement.
Of course, co-existing can be uncomfortable during that time, so you may want to find friends or family to stay with for the time being. That said, you might not trust the person to leave the apartment in the same condition as they found it.
In the rare case the person refuses to leave, it is essential to refuse any further rent money from them. “If I’ve said that your tenancy ends on a certain date and then I accept next month’s rent, I’m effectively extending their tenancy,” Ringston said. “Getting an eviction can take time, and since you can’t collect rent, which you probably need to afford the apartment, you can end up in a very difficult situation.”
3. Don't change the locks (yet)
You can (should) expect to garner a wide range of potential responses—some roommates might just be angry, while others could become threatening and dangerous.
“You have to keep yourself and your things as safe as possible,” Saladino said.
She recommended telling a roommate who seems particularly upset, “Let’s just take time to cool off and let me know when you're ready to talk.”
If things become so contentious that you’re afraid that your belongings will be trashed, get a lock on your bedroom door, Ringston advised, but don't lock your roommate out of the apartment. Housing court judges won’t take kindly to it.
“You’ll be subject to criminal and civil penalties,” she said. “You’re subject to criminal fines up to $10,000, civil penalties up to $100 a day, and treble damages, meaning liability for three times the tenant’s actual damages, and yup, you could even end up in jail.”
If the situation is so bad that you need to lock up your stuff, maybe you should be the one to up and leave. Of course, that’s easier said than done—especially if you’re the leaseholder.
What if you fear the person will become violent? Get the police involved immediately and try to obtain a restraining order against them, Ringston said. Only then are you permitted to lock out your menacing roommate.
4. If all else fails, take them to court
If your roommate doesn’t leave on their own volition after the termination date is up, you can take them to housing court. The first step is to file a holdover petition, "a type of legal action commenced when a tenant, or in this case a roommate, has overstayed the term of their tenancy,” Ringston said.
“If the tenant/roommate does not vacate the apartment by the date set forth in the first notice, he/she is ‘holding over.' If you win your case, you get a judgment of possession, meaning you have the right to the apartment, and a warrant of eviction, which means that the other person has to get out.”
If hiring a attorney is beyond your budget, "having a lawyer is always a good idea, but landlord-tenant court is made to be accessible to pro se litigants, so it can be navigated without one," Ringston said, adding that the cost depends on many variables, including the complexity of the case.
“The majority of the time, you get together with the court to agree on a date that [your roommate has] to leave by,” she explained. And usually they will leave once a judge has issued an eviction order. “It’s not often that you have to have someone physically removed,” she said. “If you don’t have a legal right to be there, most rational people will understand that it’s the end of the road.”
Because housing court can be time-consuming and stressful for all parties, it's worth avoiding reaching this point. “The biggest weapon you have when it comes to roommate dealings is communication,” Hutchinson said. “Keep talking while you're living together. Don’t just wait till you’re so angry you can’t even look at each other.”
And as uncomfortable as it can be to ask your roommate to move out, it’s a conversation you shouldn’t put off for long.
“Your living environment means everything—it’s crucial to your health,” Saladino said. “If it’s a really bad situation, you have to get out of it. Sometimes you have to put yourself first.”
—Earlier versions of this article contained reporting and writing by Alanna Schubach, Leah Hochbaum Rosner, and Nikki M. Mascali
