We knew something was up when you missed three deadlines, sold your computer, then failed to respond to our emails, texts, and phone calls.
Elevator Man: Where are you?
Did you run out of stories? Did you push the wrong buttons? Were you worried about getting shafted?
Scratching our editorial head, we checked in with Openthedoor-man--who is still not over the disappearance of the Twittering doorman last summer--to see what he thought might be behind your mysterious exit.
"How many buildings in the city still use the service of an elevator guy? Probably not that many, so someone may have figured him out," says the Doorman Speaks columnist. "And that whole sex thing with a shareholder's daughter, while funny--who's to say she doesn't still live in the building?"
Indeed, Openthedoor-man wonders if you may have peaked too soon.
"Elevator guy spoke with attitude and brashness about his affinity for weed, for coming in drunk to work or with a hungover, and for 'love in the elevator,'" notes Openthedoor-man.
In other words: How do you top that?
"I wish him the best," says Openthedoor-man. "Or at least that he still has a job somewhere. I know that for myself, I will keep doing this until the wheels fall off."
Thanks for the ride, Elevator Man. We wish you more ups than downs.
The (Apparently) Complete Elevator Man Series: