Share this Article
Reading through the comments about our Noisy Sexy Neighbor Survey on Gothamist ("Thin Walls No Match for Fornicating"), we stumbled across this discussion about the passive-aggressive use of wifi handles by apartment dwellers:
“I update my wireless network SSID like most people update their Facebook page,” explains one commenter.
Among his/her ripostes: "‘Who's cooking with garlic.’ ‘Turn down that damned TV!’ ‘Do you smell smoke?!’”
Handles can also apparently wander into TMI territory: “One of my neighbors' wifi is called SODOMY…. Not sure what's going on there but I'm not going to go lookin’ for the answer either,” notes another commenter.
Amused, we assembled this pocket guide to wifi handles for vertical dwellers, organized by offense:
- Wifi moochers: nofreewifi4u, H1N1, notfreesogetstuffed, and FreeVIRUSHere
- Cooking odors: Really?CurryAgain?
- General noise: Don’tMakeMeComeUpThere
- Specific noise: IHearYouHavingSex
- Petty theft: StopStealingMyNYT
- Indecent exposure: I’veSeenYouNaked
Yet as much as we'd like to think otherwise, we are dubious about how often these subversive handles find their intended targets.
Denial is a powerful force, after all, and those who pay for their Internet usually scan their neighbors' networks only when their service is down...which usually means their neighbors' is too.