Among his/her ripostes: "‘Who's cooking with garlic.’ ‘Turn down that damned TV!’ ‘Do you smell smoke?!’”
Handles can also apparently wander into TMI territory: “One of my neighbors' wifi is called SODOMY…. Not sure what's going on there but I'm not going to go lookin’ for the answer either,” notes another commenter.
Amused, we assembled this pocket guide to wifi handles for vertical dwellers, organized by offense:
Wifi moochers: nofreewifi4u, H1N1, notfreesogetstuffed, and FreeVIRUSHere
Cooking odors: Really?CurryAgain?
General noise: Don’tMakeMeComeUpThere
Specific noise: IHearYouHavingSex
Petty theft: StopStealingMyNYT
Indecent exposure: I’veSeenYouNaked
Yet as much as we'd like to think otherwise, we are dubious about how often these subversive handles find their intended targets.
Denial is a powerful force, after all, and those who pay for their Internet usually scan their neighbors' networks only when their service is down...which usually means their neighbors' is too.
Brick Underground articles occasionally include the expertise of, or information about, advertising partners when relevant to the story. We will never promote an advertiser's product without making the relationship clear to our readers.