“I respect what [he] is doing, people of this city need to be informed. I am a doorman myself and have written a book about my years of experience. I really don't want to rain on jsdoorman's parade but this is what gossip is all about.”
The inaugural chapter of Opening Doors: A New York City Doorman’s Secrets and Stories profiles three residents in rather brutish detail.
“Mr. Evil” is described as a bully with a fondness for transvestite hookers that persists even after one ties him to his headboard and robs him, leaving him to be rescued by the super.
A reclusive bipolar woman with Collyer tendencies makes life miserable for the doorman by incessantly banging on the wall separating the lobby from her apartment.
And then there is Mr. P, a penthouse-dwelling pot-dealing kingpin--and the only resident to win Openthedoor-man’s open admiration:
“He was smart and meticulous about whom he did business with. He had a core group of workers and nothing more. These were the faces I learned to accept and allow to go up to his apartment….They went in empty handed, then left with giant duffle bags over their shoulders.” (At least we know what to look for.)
Then the anonymous scribe confesses that he began dealing pot for Mr. P for four “great and whopping” months until the marijuana kingpin was arrested.
The blurb accompanying the pages says that Openthdoor-man (who for all we know IS the Twittering doorman) has written two screenplays. Other chapters are said to include "Super size me" and "Gettin' a little on the side--or not."
We finished this feeling grateful that we don't have a doorman. We also wonder when co-ops and condos will start insisting upon confidentiality agreements…
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