Do you need a passing knowledge of cryptography to hunt for a New York apartment? Sometimes it seems that way, considering the obfuscation, exaggeration and plain old lying common in many listings. But fear not. We've translated some of the worst offenders:

1. "Pet-washing room"

Let's not pretend there is something inherently pet-friendly here. Isn't this just a room with a sink? Admittedly, it's convenient to keep Fluffy's wet fur away from your toothbrush, but is such an amenity really going to lure you to one building over another?

Let's be honest: We could all be a little less clutter-y, a little more neighborly, and responsible with our household budgets. So, in the spirit of starting anew for 2015, here are my 10 resolutions for apartment living in 2015 (comment or email us to share yours):