Let's be honest: We could all be a little less clutter-y, a little more neighborly, and responsible with our household budgets. So, in the spirit of starting anew for 2015, here are my 10 resolutions for apartment living in 2015 (comment or email us to share yours):
1. I will not go to Ikea on weekends, no matter how badly I need a new dresser. I will take a day off work. Or go on a Wednesday night at 7 p.m. Or just use a lot of milk crates.
2. If I must deal with Time Warner Cable, I will do so only after I pop a Xanax or down a strong drink.
Find Your Next Home
3. I will not smoke in the house, no matter if the landlord permits it, even if it is 15 degrees outside and I've just hung up the phone with Time Warner after five hours sourcing the Hemnes at Ikea.
4. Somewhat related, I will not fry fish without opening a window. My neighbors will thank me. Friends will start dropping by again.
5. I will limit my food delivery bill to $40 per week. An $11,000 a year sushi habit is embarrassing for me and my city. Likewise, I will only order vodka delivery from Minibar if I'm hosting at least two guests. If alone or in a group of two, I will wait 'til tomorrow and go to the store.
6. I will not let my roommate sublet to a person I've never met while sober. Never again.
7. I will make my "no shoes in the house" policy known and enforce it, even if the offender just bought me dinner/is my friend whose parent recently died. [Ed's note: We politely disagree.]
8. I will not write a rent check, find a stamp, and get the whole envelope ready for my landlord on the first of the month only to have it sit at the bottom of my bag for a week.
9. I will not, in an act of reciprocal aggression, play the CIA's torture playlist's greatest hits at 2 a.m. because my neighbors threw a party last Tuesday.
10. I will admit that no one, especially not me, is ever going to get that Forever 21 sundress tailored, and will either make it into a rag or take it to a for-profit clothing dump site, for god's sake, and begin to curb my pack-rat tendencies.