Dear Ms. Demeanor: Help me write a letter to my frisky neighbors

By Jamie Lauren Sutton | April 3, 2013 - 11:25AM

Dear Ms. Demeanor,

My neighbors have loud (porn-style) sex almost every night between 1 and 2 in the morning. I'm too embarrassed to say anything, but it's really annoying and I can't sleep. Can you recommend a well-worded letter?

Sincerely,

The Accidental Voyeur

Dear Accidental Voyeur,

A delicately worded letter for a delicate matter... So many of our readers complain of noisy neighbors but the hardest ones to deal with head on, as it were, are those whose sighs of intimate pleasure are more like screams.

To attempt coitus interruptus, we've heard of neighbors placing prank calls mid-session, as well as ringing the doorbell and then running away. Some publicly shame the moaners by telling other neighbors about it. But we still think a firm, but fair letter is the most mature way to go.

And since you can't exactly tell them just to buzz off and get a room--obviously, they have one--here's my advice on what to write:

Dear Neighbor,

I am one of your neighbors.

I have been disturbed by noise from your apartment very late at night at least four times a week for the last several months. It disrupts my sleep and has had a negative impact on my quality of life.

I wanted to reach out personally before pursuing formal avenues of resolution. If you could see your way clear to being mindful of the noise production, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your time and attention,

Your (sleepy) neighbor

Ms. Demeanor is channeled by a longtime Manhattan vertical dweller and real-estate voyeur who writes under the pen name Jamie Lauren Sutton. She is here to commiserate, calm and correct. Please email your quandaries to [email protected] and put "Dear Ms. Demeanor" in the subject line.

See all of Ms. Demeanor's advice here

The agony of the ecstacy: 4 tips for overcoming loud neighbor sex

BrickUnderground's Noisy Sexy Neighbor Survey Results

What to do about those prostitutes in your building

The $100,000 love affair: How your super's sex life can cost you money

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