Yes, we know all about the two co-op bills before the NYC council: One would force boards to accept or reject buyers within 45 days, and another demands that turndowns come with an explanation. That's all well and good, but may we suggest some additional legislation....
- The Flat Tip Bill - Standardizes holiday tipping by requiring co-op boards to set a per-share holiday tipping amount that varies by staff member (e.g, the super gets .50 cents x number of shares owned by a resident).
- Honest Alteration Agreement bill - No special treatment for board members, and any 'wet-over-dry' hestiation needs to be stated explicitly, not implied.
- Smile in the Elevator Bill - We live in the same goddamn building, enough with the farbissina punim.
- Co-op C-Span - Live video feed of all co-op board meetings. Issues with transparency solved.
- No Free Advice Bill - Just because there are doctors, lawyers, decorators and therapists in your building doesn't mean you don't have to make an appointment like everyone else.
- No Neighbors Left Behind Bill - A 10% surcharge on renovations over $250k distributed among adjacent neighbors for cosmetic improvements to their own apartments.
- Give Me a Break Outdoor Space Bill - In buildings without common outdoor space, owners with private terraces or backyards must host an annual barbecue for neighbors in the visual or olfactory proximity.
- Bike Room Hog Bill - If a bike hasn't been used within the past year, the space goes to the next person on the waiting list, or the bike becomes community property available for use by any resident.