Doornament

Door na ment - n.  Lazy and/or unusually attractive doorman.

"Ralph never actually opens the door," Susan observed to her sister while wedging the doors open with the double-stroller.  "He's a complete doornament--but with a bod like that, who cares?"   

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Antipication

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Buy-curious

Appitease

See the entire Vertical Dwellers Dictionary.