- There are four open houses a week. . . 10 weeks in a row.
- Telling you the price is very negotiable, the broker winks so hard her contact lens pops out.
- The show sheet says you’ll receive all new furniture, a home theater system or a Vespa after closing. A week later, you return and discover that “or” has been changed to “and.”
- A brand new unassembled crib is propped against the living room wall next to a huge box from Babies R Us.
- When you remove your shoes at the door, the listing agent gives you a foot massage.
- Framed photos have been torn in half, one of two closets in the bedroom is empty, and the fridge is stocked with take-out containers of half-consumed food.
- You ride up the elevator with a guy from Moishe’s Movers delivering three dozen packing boxes.
- The kitchen counter is laden with caviar, champagne and sweets from Maison du Chocolat just for potential buyers.
- Idly opening a kitchen drawer, you discover mounds of discarded lottery tickets and torn betting receipts.
- All the furniture legs are sitting in special coasters designed to intercept bed bugs, and the broker, who seems a bit fidgety, brought her own stool to sit on.
Former journalist Malcolm Carter is a Manhattan real estate broker who has seen it all and blogged about much of it.
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