There are four open houses a week. . . 10 weeks in a row. Telling you the price is very negotiable, the broker winks so hard her contact lens pops out. The show sheet says you’ll receive all new furniture, a home theater system or a Vespa after closing. A week later, you return and discover that “or” has been changed to “and.” A brand new unassembled crib is propped against the living room wall next to a huge box from Babies R Us. When you remove your shoes at the door, the listing agent gives you a foot massage. Framed photos have been torn in half, one of two closets in the bedroom is empty, and the fridge is stocked with take-out containers of half-consumed food. You ride up the elevator with a guy from Moishe’s Movers delivering three dozen packing boxes. The kitchen counter is laden with caviar, champagne and sweets from Maison du Chocolat just for potential buyers. Idly opening a kitchen drawer, you discover mounds of discarded lottery tickets and torn betting receipts. All the furniture legs are sitting in special coasters designed to intercept bed bugs, and the broker, who seems a bit fidgety, brought her own stool to sit on.
Malcolm Carter is a Manhattan real estate broker who has seen it all and blogged about much of it. Related:
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