10 upsides to a Manhattan hurricane

1. Someone in your building has a battery-operated radio, so no need to hit every Duane Reade, Radio Shack, and Best Buy between 96th and Chinatown to find the one that didn't get snapped up.
2. Small apartment means less windows to break. 
3. You can have really loud sex and blame the noise on the screaming wind.
4. No basement to flood--or if it does, it's the super's problem.
5. You might actually eat the food in your fridge/pantry instead of going out or ordering in.
6. Outfitted with a soccer ball and a wee-wee pad, the hallway can stand in for the park for the next few days.
7. Instead of feeling jealous like usual, you get to pity everyone planning to spend the last week of August at the beach.
8. Your kids will finally play with their Christmas/Hanukkah gifts.
9. Blackout-equivalent bragging rights.
10. Your stuck-up sister-in-law with the Zone A penthouse suddenly sees your Zone C walk-up in a whole new light.

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2-bed, w/d, ren EIK in BEST flood zone. HURRY!!! Won't last!!