9 unofficial signs of a NYC summer, starting with the trainee doorman

Real New Yorkers know that the real signs of impending summer have little to do with the calendar or the temperature, such as.....

1. The trainee doorman (who's going to cover for doormen on vacation this summer) shows up, and he looks like an 8-year-old in his big borrowed uniform
2. You throw open your windows to let in the balmy breeze and twenty minutes later you're in bed with a migraine from the noise, pollution and pollen.
3. You start feeling A/C pee on your head - at least you hope that's what it is.
4. For a few weeks, you would trade your washer-dryer for a two square foot patch of north-facing balcony and a grill. Instead you cancel your subscriptions to Food & Wine and Bon Apetit and swear off Food Network until barbecue season is over.
5. While changing over the closets, you find your lost engagement ring--but the insurance money already paid for your new bathroom. 
6. Riding the elevator, you notice Mrs. Schwartz's varicose veins got a lot worse over the winter.
7. You don't need the white noise machine to cover your husband's snoring, because your husband's snoring is covering up the party-hardy new renters across the street. 
8. You tell the cabdriver to turn on the a/c before you tell him where you are going.
9. NYC real estate obsession is temporarily displaced with Hamptons real estate obsession.

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15 ways to tell a real New Yorker from a poser

I am a New Yorker and I want my $19,000 back