Real New Yorkers know that the real signs of impending summer have little to do with the calendar or the temperature, such as.....
- The trainee doorman (who's going to cover for doormen on vacation this summer) shows up, and he looks like an 8-year-old in his big borrowed uniform
- You throw open your windows to let in the balmy breeze and twenty minutes later you're in bed with a migraine from the noise, pollution and pollen.
- You start feeling A/C pee on your head - at least you hope that's what it is.
- For a few weeks, you would trade your washer-dryer for a two square foot patch of north-facing balcony and a grill. Instead you cancel your subscriptions to Food & Wine and Bon Apetit and swear off Food Network until barbecue season is over.
- While changing over the closets, you find your lost engagement ring--but the insurance money already paid for your new bathroom.
- Riding the elevator, you notice Mrs. Schwartz's varicose veins got a lot worse over the winter.
- You don't need the white noise machine to cover your husband's snoring, because your husband's snoring is covering up the party-hardy new renters across the street.
- You tell the cabdriver to turn on the a/c before you tell him where you are going.
- NYC real estate obsession is temporarily displaced with Hamptons real estate obsession.