NYC Real(i)ty Speak

NYC Real(i)ty Speak: The un-classic six

By Veronica X.  | April 21, 2011 - 10:29AM

Six rooms doesn't have to mean kitchen, living room, formal dining room, master bedroom, bedroom, and maid's room any longer.  This is New York in 2011 and vertical dwellers have varied needs...

  • Option 1 - Artist Kitchen, studio, canvas and art supply storage, bedroom, dark room, grow room
  • Option 2 - Young 20s  Kitchen, combo living/dining space, bedroom for three, bedroom for two, bedroom for two, bedroom for one.  (Bathroom 1 for females - shower drain clogs with hair daily. Bathroom 2 for males - unspeakable.) 
  • Option 3 - Swinger Wet bar, living room, dining room, master bedroom, porn library, audiovisual closet to support the massive simulcasting flat panel TVs/surround sound system/moood lighting  throughout the apartment
  • Option 4 - The Modern Family  Kitchen, combo living/dining space, home office in former master bedroom, master bedroom where the dining room used to be, bedroom for children numbers 1 and 2, combination nursery for child number 3 and bedroom for live-in nanny separated by IKEA screen.
  • Option 5 - Fashionista - Kitchen with counter and fridge only (counter for cocaine and fridge filled with Skinny Girl Margaritas), living room, home gym (who eats? see kitchen), bedroom, large walk-in closet, accessory closet, 1 full bath plus 1 upchuck-only bath

Veronica X. is a Canadian by birth, an Upper West Sider by nature, and an Upper East Sider by choice and circumstance. She has finally found an apartment big enough for her family, books, and shoes and is now in the process of renovating it.




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