7 perfect paints for your NYC apartment (if only)

Let's face it: Like an overpaid supermodel, paint is not expected to do much more than lie around and look pretty for as long as possible.  And that's a problem for space-challenged NYC apartment dwellers who value function as much as form.

So why can't paint be a little more...multi-tasking?

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Some suggestions:

1. Boomerang Beige: Returns outside noise to the source.
2. Poison Peanut Butter Purple: Eighty-sixes mice but safe for toddlers and canines.
3. Forever Cinnamon Sticks: Odor absorbing paint for kitchen. (Comes in Matchstick Mauve for the bathroom).
4. Bugger Off Bisque: Menu repelling paint for door.
5. Shut Up and Do Your Homework Chartreuse: No ifs, ands or buts.
6. Vibrator-Only Vermillion:  For the bedroom where the distractions are limited and the pleasures intensified.
7. Diatomaceous Earthtone: For fashionable thresholds that protect against bed bugs.

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