Let's face it: Like an overpaid supermodel, paint is not expected to do much more than lie around and look pretty for as long as possible. And that's a problem for space-challenged NYC apartment dwellers who value function as much as form.
So why can't paint be a little more...multi-tasking?
Some suggestions:
- Boomerang Beige: Returns outside noise to the source.
- Poison Peanut Butter Purple: Eighty-sixes mice but safe for toddlers and canines.
- Forever Cinnamon Sticks: Odor absorbing paint for kitchen. (Comes in Matchstick Mauve for the bathroom).
- Bugger Off Bisque: Menu repelling paint for door.
- Shut Up and Do Your Homework Chartreuse: No ifs, ands or buts.
- Vibrator-Only Vermillion: For the bedroom where the distractions are limited and the pleasures intensified.
- Diatomaceous Earthtone: For fashionable thresholds that protect against bed bugs.
Related posts:
7 things you need for your apartment that do not exist (yet)
16 things I have learned since moving to NYC
15 ways to tell a real New Yorker from a poser
I am a New Yorker and I want my $19,000 back
9 things not to do to (or in) your apartment this spring
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