You've hit the big time in
the Big Apple, baby. You finally get those doorman jokes on the Jeffersons, but perhaps you're a bit confused lately by certain remarks directed your way by those who make your vertical universe go round? Allow us....
Your cleaning lady says, "Mr. S, my friend Paola is so so so happy. Her boss gave her a plane ticket to Peru for Christmas!" Translation: "12/18 American Airlines Flight 505 JFK to Port of Spain departs 6:55 am"
Your garage attendant says, "Why don't I put
a little air your tires?" Translation: "You forgot me last year at
Christmas and if you do it again I will shove your minivan into a compact space
on sub-basement 4."
Your mailman says: "There was a package waiting for
you at the post office but I thought I would deliver it personally." Translation: "I am addicted to Chai Lattes at Starbucks and can't afford them without
those nice fat gift cards."
Your doorman says, "You're getting so many packages
Mrs. M. Let me help you with those." Translation: "Lady, I sure hope that
you didn't spend all your money at www.Bloomie’s, 'cause I am waiting for my
envelope and I know what your kids look like."
tutor says, "I know Isabella is really struggling with French but my schedule
is getting very tight lately." Translation: "If you weren't so tight
you might get me a Barney’s gift card like the Parkers!"
Veronica X. is a Canadian by birth, an Upper West Sider by nature, and an Upper East Sider by choice and circumstance. She has finally found an apartment big enough for her family, books, and shoes and is now in the process of renovating it.
Brick Underground articles occasionally include the expertise of, or information about, advertising partners when relevant to the story. We will never promote an advertiser's product without making the relationship clear to our readers.