"Mr. W had been a close friend and business colleague for two decades and is the kind of person who will stand by you through thick and thin." Translation: Brian and I ran share houses in the Hamptons in our 20s and he knows things about me my wife doesn't, and shouldn't.
"Dr. M has always been involved with issues that could impact the health of her neighbors, human or animal." Translation: This chick is a crazy veterinarian who thinks we should live in peaceful harmony with rodents.
"Mrs. F is a devoted mother and wonderful parenting resource." Translation: Alison doesn't mind when all the kids come over and trash her apartment during a playdate.
"Mr. and Mrs. S are exemplary neighbors and cherished friends." Translation: Steven and Sharon always have good weed and throw a rocking New Year's Party.
"Mr. L's finances are impeccable and he would make an excellent coop board treasurer." Translation: Mark always holds our cash when we go to Vegas on a junket.
"Veronica X." is a Canadian by birth, an Upper West Sider by nature, and an Upper East Sider by choice and circumstance. She is presently looking to buy an apartment big enough for her family, her books, and her shoes - not necessarily in that order.
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