Would You Rather?

New Yorkers need more space (between themselves and their mates)

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We asked six New Yorkers: Would you rather date somebody in your building or somebody from another (farther-flung) borough? Well, apparently, in a city where space comes at a premium, people really value what little personal space they can get. Call us surprised. This one is a clean sweep.

  • Flight or fight Definitely somebody from another borough. Otherwise, if you fight, you know where to find each other. I know how that goes. I dated somebody in my dorm once. —Justin, Washington Heights

  • Expanding your horizons I’d want to date somebody from another borough because I like to meet people with different perspectives. I’ve lived in my neighborhood in Queens a really long time. I know everybody. It’s kind of monotonous. I love my neighborhood, I like being close to my parents. But I’d want to date somebody who has different experiences, and also I’d like to get to know other neighborhoods more.—Omar, Glendale, Queens (pictured at left)

  • Space hog I’d rather have to go to another borough. I need my space. In the same building is too close. You need space from each other. I need space. In the same building, it can be too much. —Idil, Upper West Side (pictured at letf)
  • Breaking up is hard enough to do Another borough. For sure. If it doesn’t work out, then what would you do if you saw them in the elevator or by the mail boxes, or by the laundry room? Come on. That’s M-E-S-S-SY. Depending on the relationship, you may also find it hard to move on, or make a clean break or whatever. You know? I’d end up moving out. —Derek,  Harlem

  • Standing the test of time (on the subway) I think that dating somebody from another borough can be really difficult. It’s almost like a long distance relationship in that you have different routes, and different restaurants, and different favorite hang outs. But at least if you date somebody from another borough, it’s like a test and you can see how strong your relationship can be. If you can overcome an hour-plus on the subway, going crosstown, then two subway changes… that’s character building for your relationship. Then you’ll really know  if you like each other! —Vlad, FiDi (pictured at left)
  •  Movie magic? More like reality TV fodder  If I was a surgeon who worked 18-hour days, for sure dating somebody in the building would be great in terms of a convenience factor. Sounds cold, but I mean, where else are going to meet people with 18-hour days? But in reality, you need some space from each other. What if you need to tell a little white lie, like maybe your parents are in town but you’re not ready for them to meet this girl? How do you keep that a secret? Or what if it’s a casual thing, but you’re afraid this neighbor is going to flip out when you bring somebody else over even though you both were clear on the situation from the start? In movies, there are cute scenes of people meeting in a stuck elevator or living across from each other and they fall in love. They never show the other side of it though! —Steve, Morningside Heights


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