The Market

8 tips for destroying the competition ... at an open house

By Alana Mayman  | March 15, 2013 - 1:57PM

The economy is allegedly turning around, NYC real estate is heating up again and bidding wars are apparently back in a big way. As you hit the open house circuit this weekend, here are some tips for sabotaging the competition like the consummate New Yorker you are.

  1. Gush to other open house attendees about the ENORMOUS fabulous tower that is being built across the way, complete with big box retail. "It will be just like living in the 'burbs!"
  2. Hang a bed bug exterimination sign-up sheet in the elevator.
  3. Send your kids in all filthy and sticky and have them yell, "Which one of you is going to be our new neighbor?" Even better... have them bring in a big, smelly dog too.
  4. Call across the room to the broker, "This is the building with all those lawsuits, right?"
  5. Fill a spray bottle with tuna oil and water and surreptitiously spray it around the abode, particularly at the entrance.
  6. Pull people aside and whisper, "Did you hear the world's most famous professional tap dancer lives upstairs? And his rehearsal studio is at home."
  7. Mention in passing (to everyone) how great the listing agent is--and you should know, because she also happens to be your sister-in law.
  8. Two words: GLUE TRAPS.

Related posts:

NYC vs da burbs: Oh, the tangled lies we weave

7 signs your broker's given up selling your place

Top 8 signs of apartment search burnout

How to buy a NYC apartment

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