The Market

NYC Real(i)ty Speak: 5 ways to tell an estate-condition apt from a sh*thole

By Veronica X. | April 15, 2011 - 4:08PM 

Besides needing a gut renovation, estate-condition apartments have little else in common with a basic NYC sh*thole apartment. The latter only look like someone died there. Here's how to tell the difference:

Estate: Herringbone floors with loose pieces of wood

Sh*thole: Parquet floors with loose pieces of wood

 

Estate: Cracked marble foyer

Sh*thole: Linoleum foyer

 

Estate:  Former owner is recently deceased

Sh*thole: Former owner is recently incarcerated

 

Estate:  Peeling flocked wallpaper

Sh*thole: Peeling lead paint

 

Estate:  Egg and dart molding

Sh*thole: Popcorn ceiling

 


Veronica X. is a Canadian by birth, an Upper West Sider by nature, and an Upper East Sider by choice and circumstance. She has finally found an apartment big enough for her family, books, and shoes and is now in the process of renovating it.


 

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