"This apartment is hotter than Britney Spears...10 years ago"

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NeighborhoodManhattanBronxBrooklynQueensStaten IslandWestchesterJersey CityHoboken

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Priceup to $2,000up to $3,000up to $4,000up to $5,000up to $6,000up to $7,000up to $8,000up to $9,000no maximum

Priceup to $500,000up to $750,000up to $1,000,000up to $1,250,000up to $1,500,000up to $2,000,000up to $3,000,000up to $5,000,000up to $6,000,000up to $7,000,000up to $8,000,000no maximum

Bedroomsstudioat least 1 bedroomat least 2 bedroomsat least 3 bedroomsat least 4 bedrooms5 or more bedrooms

Bathroomsat least 1 bathroomat least 1.5 bathroomsat least 2 bathroomsat least 2.5 bathroomsat least 3 bathroomsat least 3.5 bathroomsat least 4 bathrooms4.5 or more bathrooms

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Even in New York, it takes a lot to distinguish your rental listing on Craigslist, and an anonymous Twittering broker has begun singling out the subject-line contortions of his or her peers. So far, @BrokerClown has a fairly good eye for material as raw as it is real. Take these Craigslist come-ons. (Please.)

• **THIS APARTMENT IS HOTTER THAN BRITNEY SPEARS...10 YEARS AGO!**
• !!!YOUR MAMA WILL SMACK YOU IF YOU DON'T TAKE THIS DEAL!!!!!! Ouch!
• Is this penthouse duplex a gem? Do woodchucks chuck wood?
• Porn Stars that hang w/Charlie Sheen ain't as HOT as THIS!!