What did the UES say to the UWS?

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What started as an UWS  vs UES debate on (not for nothing, the UWS is trouncing the UES on a parks-and-transportation basis) has taken a sly comic turn, as one commenter deftly satirizes the differences as follows:

UES: "My children are smart and good looking."

UWS: "My children are smart."

UES: "I have a very attractive wife who stays in great shape."

UWS: "My wife...I married young before I became successful."

UES: "I have a very well educated husband with a fat income."

UWS: "I have well-educated fat husband (or way too skinny)."

UES:  "My psychiatrist is tweaking my meds."

UWS: "I confide all my darkest secrets to my podiatrist."

UES: "My lubrication comes in a blue box that says Tiffanys."

UWS: "My lubrication is KY (on sale at Duane Reade)."

UWS:  "My real estate broker lives in my building."

UES: "My real estate broker lives in NJ."


( courtesy of falcogold1)