NYC Real(i)ty Speak

NYC Real(i)ty Speak: They're called HOUSE guests for a reason!

By Veronica X.  | December 23, 2010 - 1:27PM

Everyone loves New York at holiday time and everyone loves to be with family at holiday time--just not necessarily inside a 900-square-foot apartment...

  • "This Aerobed is fine.  I can sleep on anything!" Translation: "There is a very good chance I will throw my back out and my 2-day stay will turn in to a 2-week stay on your bed while you sleep on the Aerobed."
  • "Don't worry.  All the kids can sleep together in the same room.  It will be fun." Translation: "Our two-year old still wakes up at 1 am, 3 am, and is up for the day at 5 am and, for the holidays, your kids will too."
  • "So do you have any plans to move?" Translation: "You city people are insane!  I live in a 5000-square-foot house in Ann Arbor that cost half of what you paid for this dump!"
  • (MIL riffling through your refrigerator) "Dear, there are a lot of takeout containers here.  How old is this rice?  The curry chicken?" Translation: "I bought you a crockpot and a cookbook for Christmas.  Make my son a home-cooked meal for once!"
  • "Uncle Edgar has been having some problems with his stomach lately." Translation:  "Make nice with the people at the Starbucks downstairs because there will be a good three hours a day you won't be able to get in to your one bathroom."

Veronica X. is a Canadian by birth, an Upper West Sider by nature, and an Upper East Sider by choice and circumstance. She has finally found an apartment big enough for her family, books, and shoes and is now in the process of renovating it.

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