You are your broker’s bread and butter. But sometimes, instead of buttering your bread, your very own broker may be lightly toasting you on the deal.
"This one family made themselves right at home in your apartment." Translation: "Their kid clogged the toilet in the master bath."
"I won't be able to go over your board package until Thursday because I will be too busy." Translation: "Wednesday is my golf day."
"Even if I also represent the buyer, my fiduciary responsibility is to you, the seller." Translation: "The is real estate 'insider trading' and I want to make a fast buck."
"I spoke with the other broker and things are looking good so have a great weekend." Translation: "The other broker and I are out drinking together on Friday night and I am drunk-dialing you."
"I am here to make a deal, not break a deal." There is no translation. Grown people should not rhyme in daily conversation.
"Veronica X." is a Canadian by birth, an Upper West Sider by nature, and an Upper East Sider by choice and circumstance. She is presently looking to buy an apartment big enough for her family, her books, and her shoes - not necessarily in that order.
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