Neighborhood Intel

11 signs your neighborhood's jumped the shark

By Alana Mayman | September 27, 2016 - 9:59AM 

Maybe you fell in love with your neighborhood because of its architecture, or its off-the-beaten track vibe, or maybe it was, quite honestly, the fact that you could afford a decent apartment at a reasonable price.

It's only a matter of time, of course, until others follow suit and your "quirky" neighborhood becomes "hot," pushing up rents and the price of staples—like coffee and pizza slices (that is, if you can still find a slice joint).

Below, 11 signs your neighborhood has officially "jumped the shark":

  1. The sex-toy shop is now a blow-dry bar.
  2. The guy tagging your building has a degree from SVA.
  3. The restaurants all have menus with 'craft' and 'small batch' everything, from bitters to bagels to—water?
  4. A Row House has now replaced the Soul-Cycle that replaced New York Sports Club.
  5. In addition to stroller parking, the new condos going up all have music practice rooms, gourmet food halls, and recovery rooms for Trump-induced PTSD.
  6. Two words: kombucha bar.
  7. Your local threading place has been taken over by the "Brow Czar" charging prices that could inspire the next Bolshevik Revolution. 
  8. You can choose from three different places to refill your IPA growler without crossing a single street. 
  9. The gymnastics studio charges $52,987 per semester. Per kid. (Promises of making the 2024 Olympics not included.)
  10. There are T-shirts for sale with your zip code on them.
  11. If buying or renting for the first time today, you could never afford your apartment. 


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