Ms. Demeanor's Vertical Etiquette

Dear Ms. Demeanor: My out-of-town guest is a Trump supporter. Do you have any advice for me?

By Dianne Ackerman  | February 8, 2019 - 4:00PM

Just because we don’t agree doesn’t mean we shouldn’t engage.


I’m expecting some out-of-town guests and one of them is a Trump supporter. I’m worried about a big blow up. Any advice? Signed, Flaming Liberal

Dear Flaming,

There is a two-party system for a reason: Not everyone agrees lying and stealing is ok. But just because we don’t agree doesn’t mean we shouldn’t engage. I don’t subscribe to the old axiom of not talking about religion or politics to keep the peace. Since it is your home you can set some ground rules.

I would remind your guests that they will be visiting one of the bluest and most liberal cities in America. I would further advise them to leave their MAGA hats at home and get used to Rachel Maddow on your tv. Ask them to set aside their Fox-fueled misconceptions about our city and look at all of the positives. Thanks to our rich history of welcoming immigrants (a trip to the Statue of Liberty would be a nice touch), New York City is filled with different languages, cultures, and religions. Remind them that coming to New York City gives them the opportunity to sample food from all over the world, from Azerbaijan to Yemen. Bet they can’t get that back home.

What you can do to limit the fallout is ask your guests to be respectful of everyone they meet (including their hosts). You know they are not going to change anyone's mind here. As New Yorkers, we've known Trump longer than anyone. 

I hope you’ll take this opportunity to engage your friends in discussion—while showing them what this great city has to offer. And when you visit them in Nebraska, you can do them the courtesy of not packing your "I Love Nancy Pelosi" tee shirt.

Ms. Demeanor

Dianne Ackerman is the new voice of reason behind Ms. Demeanor. She has lived in her Upper East Side co-op for the past 20 years and is the vice president of her co-op board. She is filled with opinions that she gladly shares with all who ask—and some who do not. Have something that needs sorting out? Drop her an email.

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