Would You Rather?

Would you rather live above a jazz club or funeral home?

By Lambeth Hochwald  | June 4, 2018 - 9:00AM


While the syncopated sounds of jazz might not be your choice for background music when you get home from work, that might be way better than hearing the sobbing of mourners gathered on the sidewalk in front of your building if you lived above a funeral home. (Hey, this is the type of decision you could face one day in NYC and it is good to get your priorities in order.)

If you had to make such a choice, what would be your criteria? Would it hinge on noise, or fears related to death? We asked five New Yorkers which downstairs neighbor they would prefer. Here's what they had to say.

I’d prefer a place I can enjoy

“I rather share a building with a jazz club since I can actually enjoy going there while I’m alive and kicking. Controversial opinion: A jazz club would have cooler, more talented ghosts anyway.”—Jessica Scherlag, Downtown Brooklyn

What’s coming through the walls?

“I’d rather live above a jazz club for sure. The last thing I want is to live above death vibes.”—Bonnie Sanger, Upper East Side

I need my sleep!

“If I lived above a funeral home I would probably lie awake at night thinking every shadow on the wall is a ghost…So definitely a jazz club. It could be a lot of fun and, when I want quiet, I would just put on noise-canceling headphones.”–Melanie Blum, Upper East Side

It could be Halloween everyday

“I’d rather live above a funeral home. It keeps the trick or treaters away every Halloween and offers all the ether one could ever want to huff.”–Teddy Duvall, Bed-Stuy

Proximity is everything

“I’d prefer a jazz club because I don’t like the idea of living so close to so many dead bodies. I live near plenty of other bars so having a jazz club share my building doesn’t feel that much different!”—Claire Miller, Hell’s Kitchen

Verdict: The majority of these New Yorkers are all about jazz!



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