NYC Real(i)ty Speak: What the neighbors say when your apt is on, and on, the market

By Veronica X. | November 5, 2010 - 9:23AM

Neighborly advice for the owners of the apartment that just won't sell.

"Who is your agent? I know a great one if you are not happy with yours!" Translation: "I know your apartment is listed as FSBO - Don't you know that is the kiss of death in this town?"
"We had our old place staged by guy named Gill and it totally went from 'drab to fab,' just like he said it would." Translation: "You really need to get an area rug to cover those stains on your carpet."
"Do you need to store anything in our apartment during your open house?" Translation: "If you keep the double-wide stroller in the foyer and those two filthy highchairs in the kitchen, the twins will never have their own rooms."
"The market is correcting itself now." Translation: "You WAY overpaid and you are WAY over-priced."

Veronica X. is a Canadian by birth, an Upper West Sider by nature, and an Upper East Sider by choice and circumstance. She is presently looking to buy an apartment big enough for her family, her books, and her shoes - not necessarily in that order.

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