Is it rude to ask someone whether they rent or own? Or just obsolete?

By Teri Karush Rogers| December 3, 2010 - 2:44PM

For a New Yorker, asking whether someone rents or owns is pretty standard conversational fare, at least whenever the topic turns to real estate. But apparently we're a little out of touch with the rest of the country.

"When I first moved to NYC, I used to be shocked at how directly strangers try to deduce each other's income," notes one apartment dweller on an UrbanBaby.com thread debating the propriety of the rent-or-own inquisition. "'What do you do? Do you rent or own? What building?' I guess I'm used to it now."

Another wonders: "Is it spite? is it competition? is it to figure out how much the other people make?"--raising the question of whether it's shameful to say that you rent. Yes, says one: "Renters tend to live hand to mouth...for MOST people, it's not a lifestyle choice. (Response: "Many, many people who are unbelievably wealthy rent apartments in this city. I think you are taking this all way too personally...they are just making small talk.")

Several commenters point out that technology has provided an alternative outlet for ownshership-status quests once you have an address in hand.

"I used to weddingchannel.com people," confesses one, explaining she used to look up ex-boyfriends and old friends to see who was getting married. A bit older and more real estate obsessed now, "I streeteasy.com them. Not proud, just what I do." (UrbanBaby.com)

Brick Underground articles occasionally include the expertise of, or information about, advertising partners when relevant to the story. We will never promote an advertiser's product without making the relationship clear to our readers.

topics:

rentals renting