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12 ways to spin an apartment flaw, for fun and profit

By Alana Mayman  | July 23, 2012 - 2:50PM
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We've got to hand it to the nimble brokers in our city, who have a way of spinning just about any apartment flaw and getting you to sign on the dotted line quicker than you can say, "Wait, there's no dishwasher?!"

Here are 12 ways real estate brokers overcome some common apartment drawbacks.

  1. Sleep loft you have to crawl into "Didn't you always dream of a cozy hideaway like this when you were a kid?"
  2. Sleep loft you have to climb up to "No lock on the door needed -- it is the ultimate in privacy!"
  3. Near Second Avenue subway construction "You'll never have to set an alarm clock."
  4. Sixth-floor walkup "It's perfect if you want solitude ... and great calves."
  5. Bathtub in the kitchen "This is perfect!  Do you know how many pies I have burned while I taking a bath?"
  6. Microscopic bedroom  "Doctors always say you should only use the bedroom for sleeping or sex."
  7. Apartment with no light/no view "You'll get cave-like tranquility."
  8. Estate condition "Look at the period details. Do you know what you would pay for those fixtures in an antique store?"
  9. Almost-nothing kitchen with a half-fridge "Who cooks in Manhattan?"
  10. Apartment's over a smelly restaurant "You'll want to get to know that chef before the food bloggers get a hold of him."
  11. Really far from transportation "Your kids will love scooting and drawing on the quiet sidewalks. it is practically like a front yard.
  12. Bed bugs  "The rent's very negotiable."

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