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10 things you never want to hear in the middle of the night

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Garbage trucks and tequila-soused co-eds aside, there are a few things every vertical dweller dreads hearing in the middle of the night....

  1. Death rattle from your a/c in a heat wave
  2. Doorman buzzing up your old boyfriend while your new one sleeps nude beside you
  3. That weird rolling marbles sound
  4. (after husband spent entire day hanging the new flatscreen)  CRASH
  5. Cat going scratch-scratch-scratch in your Zen sand garden
  6. Paving trucks on Second Avenue drowning out the noise of subway construction
  7. Screaming from next door...  Quiet...  The doorbell...  Neighbor dressed in boxers and undershirt:  "Allie threw me out.  Can I sleep here tonight?"
  8. "Aaaah! Something bit me!!!"
  9. Your 70-year-old neighbor having noisy sex with your 50-year old super
  10. Mid-romantic evening:  "Do you think Duane Reade is still open?  We're out of condoms."

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