For a while now, everyone it seems has sung praises of "tiny home" owners—those who have thrown off the shackles of regular apartments and houses and opted instead to shrink their footprints. It's an admirable choice, for sure, for many reasons, not all of them environmental. For those of us still struggling with Marie Kondo's "pare down" movement, those who live in tiny houses are downright miracle workers.
Still, we can't help but smile at blogger Lauren Modery, who recently posed questions to tiny house types that we — let's be honest — have probably all have had before, but never had the guts (or access to a person who actually lives in a tiny house) to ask. (She posted her queries originally on her blog, Hipstercrite back in May, and it was later republished on Medium.)
"Dear People Who Live in Fancy Tiny Houses,
Do you actually love living in a fancy tiny house*?
You look so freakin’ happy in that Dwell Magazine article or Buzzfeed post, but c’mon, you can’t tell me that you don’t lie awake at night, your face four inches from the ceiling because the only place your bed fits is above the kitchen sink which also acts as your shower, and think, I’ve made a terrible mistake."
And goes on:
"I f’ing love the idea of downsizing and living a “simple life,” but seriously, where do you put your shit? You still have some clothing and shoes and towels and all that jazz, right? Or do you just wear overalls now?"
And then there's this question (c'mon now, we've all wondered the same thing):
"What about sexy time, huh? There is no f’ing way your kids aren’t hearing that shit. If you’re boinking four feet from your offspring, they might grow up to hate tiny things and end up building a McMansion with ten empty bedrooms just to spite you. Each bedroom will represent their years of loss innocence."
Bravo, Lauren. Someone had to put it out there.
Also, for those of us who are perpetually relegated to too-small NYC apartments because we can't afford anything larger, we only have befuddlement for tiny-house converts. We'd gladly swap an arm for extra counter space.