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About three years ago, we had a very unfortunate incident happen with a careless nanny in front of the doorman in which my then-three-year-old son’s safety was at stake.
As a thank-you to my doorman for basically rescuing my son from the situation and filling me in, I gave him a package of $100 worth of lottery tickets and scratch-offs with a note saying, “I hope this makes you as lucky as you made me.”
Ever since then, we’ve had an unspoken understanding.
I go out of my way to pick up coffee, bagels, donuts. Whenever we celebrate a holiday, I’ll always bring down stuff, and whenever we order pizza for the kids in playroom, I’ll order extra pizza for doorman.
In exchange he keeps me in loop on absolutely everything.
He’ll tell me what time my new nanny arrives in the morning, how many times she goes in and out before my son gets home from school, how many times dog gets walked--but tells me in a way without being a yenta or sounding like a police report.
He’s very conversational about it, like, “Your nanny is so dependable I can set my clock by her—she’s here at 10 to 10.”
The way that he tells me – light and non gossip-y--makes it more a part of our relationship than an obligation.
In the same way, it's not just about handing him a bagel or an envelope, it’s about how I treat him as a person. I teach my son to stop and say “how are you” and “thank you.”
I think sometimes people forget that if you’re nice you get it back tenfold. In my case it’s literally proven to be true with son’s life.
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