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Dear Ms. Demeanor: My roommates are too picky about finding my replacement. How can I politely nudge them?

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Dear Ms. Demeanor,

I'm moving out of my current apartment and my roommates need to fill my spot. They are being SUPER picky about my replacement, turning down candidates for the silliest reasons. I want to be understanding, but it's getting close to move-out date and I want them to get moving. Any suggestions?

Moving Out

Dear Moving Out,

Tricky business! Take heart that you are so hard to replace, and cast a wide net looking for replacement.

If you haven't already, you and your roomies should reach out to all your contacts, post on Facebook (maybe they'll prefer to pick friends and friends-of-friends over strangers) and put the listing on mutually agreed upon websites, bulletin boards, etc.

Be frank with them about your frustration and concern. Set a time limit after which you cannot take responsibility for either the rent or the search, depending on the details of your lease arrangement.

Hope the move is smooth,
Ms. Demeanor

Ms. Demeanor is channeled by a longtime Manhattan vertical dweller and real-estate voyeur who writes under the pen name Jamie Lauren Sutton. She is here to commiserate, calm and correct. Please email your quandaries to and put "Dear Ms. Demeanor" in the subject line.

See all of Ms. Demeanor's advice here


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