Dear Ms. Demeanor,

I live in a (doorman) building where everyone keeps their doors unlocked. I don't feel comfortable doing it, but don't want to be a social pariah. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Doris Doorlocker

Dear Doris Doorlocker,

Why should you be a social pariah?  Are people going through those unlocked doors?  I leave mine open all the time because I forget my keys as often as I remember them, but I never expect my neighbors to check if my door is open or not.

Lock your doors if that is what you want to do (it is your place after all). If anyone asks, tell them the main person you wish to keep out is your mother-in-law and no one will say a boo. (Btw, my MIL has keys to my place, so this in no way casts aspersion on her, merely MILs in general.)

Keep an open heart,

Ms. D 


Ms. Demeanor is channeled by a longtime Manhattan vertical dweller and real-estate voyeur who writes under the pen name Jamie Lauren Sutton. She is here to commiserate, calm and correct. Please email your quandaries to msdemeanor@brickunderground.com and put "Dear Ms. Demeanor" in the subject line.

See all of Ms. Demeanor's advice here

Related:

Inside story: What happens when the whole building swaps keys

Note: BrickUnderground articles occasionally include Featured Partners and Resource Directory members when their expertise is relevant to the story.

About:

Ms. Demeanor's Sex, Laundry & Vertical Etiquette is written by etiquette columnist Jamie Lauren Sutton, a longtime Manhattan vertical dweller and real-estate voyeur