How to succeed as a doorman

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Every so often, casting a curious eye over the Internet search phrases that bring folks to Brick, we spot searches like "I'm a doorman, how do I handle a resident yelling at me,"  "Anyone else dislike being a doorman for a building," "Doorman how to handle a drunk tenant," "How to get the through the nightshift doorman" and "Do tenants want to have sex with their doorman."

The point being that as much as you might worry about whether you're tipping too much or too little, or asking for too many favors (or too few), your doorman may be looking for some guidance on how to handle you.

Wonder no longer, NYC door guardians. Here are a few things they don't teach in doorman school:

  1. The louder a resident is shouting at you, the quieter your responses should be
  2. Keep doggie treats and kiddie treats on hand -- and make sure you give the right treat to the right species
  3. Don't give the Saks packages to husbands
  4. You can sell pot to the co-op president, but don't you dare sell it to his kid
  5. Tell new moms and old ladies they look lovely even if they don't
  6. Answer all outrageous requests with: "If it were up to me I would but it is against building policy"
  7. Don't tell the husband in 8H that his wife is sleeping with the woman in PHC but do tell him if the woman in 8G is thinking of selling her studio
  8. You can wink at the nannies all you want but keep the open eye on the kiddies and make sure they are looked after 
  9. Act like every month is December

 

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