In the subterranean battlefield known as the laundry room, even the most innocuous remarks can hide an accusation.

  • "Wow, that is a lot of laundry!" = "Which one of your kids has lice this time?"
  • "I hope you don't mind but I had to take your stuff out of the dryer." = "Don't you have a WATCH?!?'
  • "You must be some girlfriend, doing his laundry for him..." = "If you keep acting like a doormat, Mr. Tighty-Whitey isn't going to stick around any longer than Mr. Boxer-Briefs did."
  • "There was enough lint in the traps to knit a sweater." = "Clean the goddamn lint out of the traps and take your flannel back to the 90s in Seattle where it belongs."
  • "Good grief!  I have never seen so much laundry!!  You must be washing everything in the house!!!" = "Tell me straight - Do you have bedbugs?"

Veronica X. is a Canadian by birth, an Upper West Sider by nature, and an Upper East Siderby choice and circumstance. She has finally found an apartment big enough for her family, books, and shoes and is now in the process of renovating it.

 

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