Dear Ms. Demeanor,
I love my roommate, really I do. We have been friends since elementary school, went to summer camp together as campers and counselors, lived together in college... We are living the typical post-college life in the city and sharing a one bedroom with a 'wall' to make a second bedroom.
This 'wall' is awfully thin and lately my roomie is hooking up with a guy we have known forever. They have always had this sexual tension between them and this tension is now being released often and loudly, usually at 3 am.
Neither of them is looking for more, but I am certainly looking for more sleep. I am not one to ruin anyone's good time but, seriously, I can't take it. How do I handle this without breaking the lease or the friendship?
O.S.W. (Occupy Shared Wall)
There are certain things one has to give up to live in the vertical village - closet space, disposable income, and loud sex top the list. (Maybe Scarsdale's new town motto can be 'Scarsdale is for Screamers'?)
Your path of least resistance involves ear plugs and a white noise machine, but as it sounds like your roommate is an old and dear friend, why not just be honest? Have you told her to just turn it down while she's turned on? If she feels comfortable enough having you listen to her nighttime activities, I would imagine she would be comfortable enough hearing your concerns.
Ms. Demeanor is channeled by a longtime Manhattan vertical dweller and real-estate voyeur who writes under the pen name Jamie Lauren Sutton. She is here to commiserate, calm and correct. Please email your quandaries to email@example.com and put "Dear Ms. Demeanor" in the subject line.