As we have demonstrated before, there is a minefield of doublespeak to negotiate when looking for an apartment in New York City.
And that's when the demographics are purely human. A whole new lexicon is required where pets become involved.
- “Pet friendly" Translation: The building only welcomes animals less than 10 lbs that never use the elevator and have had their vocal cords removed.
- "2000 square feet in Tribeca with outdoor space - perfect for pets" Translation: Sorry, no pets allowed.
- "No pets allowed" Translation: You will live next door to a yappy Yorkie that was grandfathered in during the Clinton administration and just won't die.
- "Cats only" Translation: Residents of the building make the Beales of Grey Gardens seem normal.
- "Pets allowed" Translation: Co-op board never imagined that people would keep alligators as pets.
"Veronica X." is a Canadian by birth, an Upper West Sider by nature, and an Upper East Sider by choice and circumstance. She is presently looking to buy an apartment big enough for her family, her books, and her shoes - not necessarily in that order.
See more N.Y.C. Real(i)ty Speaks.