NYC Real(i)ty Speak

NYC Real(i)ty Speak: Buy this place and your kid can attend Dalton too!

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Canny brokers know all about aspirational real estate, and many seem to hope that tossing around names of the exclusive schools attended by sellers' spawn will make up for the deficiencies of the apartment. 
  • "They had three children who all graduated from Horace Mann." Translation: "With the right parenting, the drug deals going on in the park across the street will not have an adverse effect on your children."
  • "Their children are at Bank Street and they just love it." Translation: "I hope you are a proponent of co-sleeping because the 'second bedroom' is a loft in the master."
  • "Their twins just got into Dalton!"  Translation: "They can't afford the exorbitant maintenance on this dump anymore."
  • "It's zoned for P.S. 6." Translation: "It is worth schlepping the stroller up four flights for the next 5 or so years."
  • "Many children in the building go to Riverdale." = "It doesn't matter that there isn't a decent park or playground nearby...  Your kids can commute so you don't have to!"

"Veronica X." is a Canadian by birth, an Upper West Sider by nature, and an Upper East Sider by choice and circumstance. She is presently looking to buy an apartment big enough for her family, her books, and her shoes - not necessarily in that order.

See more N.Y.C. Real(i)ty Speaks.

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