The Real.Est List
Twittering doorman tells all--one cranky moment at a time
We've been following the anonymous DoormaninNYcity on Twitter for several months, after we found him through his blog (which he updates occasionally under the handle JSDoorman) and posted an interview with him in May.
If you have a doorman, DoormaninNYcity's Twitter feed--a mix of the mundane, cranky, and darkly comic--will make you uneasy. You will come to understand how deeply annoying you and your neighbors can be, and realize that your doorman's mask of affability is probably just that.
- Let's get this straight, pipes sweating behind your toilet or under the wash sink in your bathroom is not a leak.
- "Nice suit" I said. He said, "The secret is when you send it to the cleaners never have it cleaned, just pressed." I don't like it anymore!
- Why ask me to tell a kid to stop playing ball in the lobby then after I tell him you start playing with him. That's why he doesn't respect.
But like any good HBO character, DoormaninNYCity is morally ambiguous. Even as he suffers the whims of his many bosses, accepting a kickback or two is apparently all in a day's work:
- Why does a locksmith charge so much when you lock yourself out of your apt? Is it because they give us $50-$100 commission for calling them?
- I was offered $10 for every resident i send to Green & White cleaners. We doormen get a lot of these offers from most local businesses.... They come with a list of addresses and write our names next to our address and when anyone from our address goes, they send $10....It's not always money. Depends on the business. It could be lunch, wine, discounts, etc.
You may never look at your doorman the same way again.
UPDATE 8/4/09: Twittering doorman tweets no more